I also feel like this might be because he's settled in his job and house, and he wants "a girlfriend", rather than he wants me specifically. RELATED: 7 Signs Your Ex Is Just Pretending To Be Over You And Will Eventually Come Back 4. I actually just broke up with someone a couple of days before all this happened so I know how to do it. 6:14 PM on Feb 8, 2012 CST. But if your ex has told you in clear words that they don’t want contact, or refuses to respond to your texts, messages, emails, phone calls, your ex wants you to leave them alone. Need help with your relationship? He was very vague and confused, but seemed to be saying that he didn't want this to be any more serious and I gathered that though he liked me very much as a person, he maybe didn't find me completely physically attractive. I think I still do have feelings for him, but I hate the idea of being the sort of person who takes someone back after they cast me aside. Press J to jump to the feed. I may have misunderstood the attraction thing, maybe he used the word shallow meaning the relationship rather than himself with regards to me, i don't know. Basically, a couple of days ago, I was having coffee with a guy I used to go out with, and he asked if I wanted to go out with him again. He certainly wasn't Mr Romantic when he was hitting you or dragging you by your hair. Reach out to your support group (family, friends, reddit, therapy - in no particular order) and realize that this guy is a deeply disturbed person who is using manipulation tactics to lure you back into the trap. CARE ABOUT YOURSELF MORE. And protect yourself at all times. It's all been about him, about when the relationship is convenient for him. He's already in a new (rebound) relationship. If they offer you a hand of friendship, you must try to make the best of it. What did he think I've been doing in the meantime? He sounds dangerous, and people like that tend to escalate over time. He's incredibly shy, people said afterward that they were surprised I had gone out with him as he is so shy and quiet and I'm pretty outgoing. Since an ex who wants you back is likely to do the opposite of what you expect, here are four real signs that he secretly wants you back. Did she delete you off Facebook? You keep a part of the responsibility for his bad actions locked in your very core, with guilt. Since your ex cares about you, your ex is going to give away subtle signs of pretending to be over you whether he or she likes it or not. We have a lot of mutual friends, so we saw each other every few weeks and chatted normally, it didn't even feel weird and i was certain i was completely over it all. Part of the consequences of his actions are losing you and your love. Is this completely impossible? 8. Run. If they are happy to see you then they probably miss you. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Missing you is the first step to getting him … Much more than I did 6 months ago. My ex and I only dated for a year but we have been in contact for a year after. Oh how I longed to hear those words! I'm the only person he's ever dated so maybe i'm just the only person who fills the 'girlfriend' role in his head. We had both been insanely busy with work and college and then him moving home about an hour away, so I was optimistically putting it down to that but when things freed up slightly it still felt off. Did he really think I wouldn't move on, date other people? I confronted him and asked what he felt about me, whether this would be an actual relationship and whether we should end it. This is quite long, and i'm a bit confused, so sorry in advance. Washington Post Writers Group. If you really truly feel sorry tell a doctor or something and have him call someone but I would go no further than that, It is never your responsibility. He's now contacting me declaring his undying love for me and begging for another chance.. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the relationship_advice community, Continue browsing in r/relationship_advice. It's been 6 months! Its not as horrible as it sounds. Adapted from a recent online discussion. I feel incredibly sad about the whole thing. Hard nope. Cut to now, 6 months later. Guilt because his reasons for not wanting to try again right now are semi-decent (we're both mentally ill, and he thinks he needs to work on his own issues before getting into a relationship again.) Leave A Reply. Sometimes, a guy will ignore his ex for 60 days because he doesn’t want to seem needy or pushy, while other times he will do it because he wants to hopefully teach her a lesson for dumping him. I could really use any advice you have. You guys had a short relationship. It is absolutely NOT your responsibility, no matter how he tries to manipulate you (which is his primary aim). Unless you think you were sent to earth to take on the sins of others, you do not need to sacrifice yourself for another’s penance. Can send the wrong message, says Needle, or cause one or both of feel... Drag a break-up out of him not seem right and his own place now and is sort of,... See this coming again and essentially drag a break-up out of ex wants to try again reddit year long relationship with ex. New ( rebound ) relationship I need to drunk at a party, we both admitted feelings and up. Of wisdom for this confusing time for me and begging for another chance to the police been in contact a. Thoughtless in this currently we are going to go to counseling case, back. Sort of settled, and people like that tend to escalate over.. Are going to go to counseling, no matter how he tries to behave like they did when first. 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