How to Stop Thinking About Your Ex. I can answer you in seven syllables: absofrigginlutely not. Breakup and divorce recovery coach Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby shares how to stop thinking about your Ex so you can move on with your life, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. Having a relationship end can be a painful experience, particularly when your thoughts continually drift back to your ex. We had a really bad break up because we were seriously going in different directions and I needed a break. I hadn't given him a thought since we broke up at Uni, but I was intrigued to see how he looked now and photos of his family, and then I started remembering all the nice and funny times we had together, and how special it was being "first loves". And no, my ex-boyfriend didn't die. I have been married for a little over 2 years now. We graduated together and eventually moved in … It's easy to see only great stuff when remembering an old flame; you picture a movie montage of isolated perfect moments. Then share your needs and desires with him. Ad Choices. What you should do instead is think about why you married the guy you did and all the reasons you and the ex broke up. I must admit that my husband was a rebound from my ex. But that's not real life. It's becoming an obsession. :( I know it's impossible at this point, we have all moved on, and I am sure he doesn't want to know anything about me because I hurt him after marrying. I don’t think I was ever like this with my DH. My ex and I were on and off for over a year or so, and last year I had taken off for a work destination trip and I … I met my husband my first year of college and we married a few years later. If it’s just a passing thought that went through your head when you ran into your ex, think nothing of it. The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with the prior written permission of Condé Nast. The lesson here is that, even if that someone leaves you, you still have the responsibility to go on with your life. There are plenty of reasons past romances keep finding their way into your head, but … I dream about him often and think about him during the day. Find out more about how we use your information in our Privacy Policy and Cookie Policy. I'm very excited and can't wait to be with my fiance forever. His enthusiasm may surprise you. Although he is for sure over me, I definitely still think about him. About a month after breakingup with my ex I started datingmy current husband. I love my husband very much but can't stop thinking about my ex. But now, I am in the process of letting go totally and facing my new life. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement (updated as of 1/1/21) and Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement (updated as of 1/1/21) and Your California Privacy Rights. I love my husband and we are great together, but it is not the love I feel for my ex. Missing an ex this vividly is something most married people don't talk about. Why We Think About Our Exes (and Why It's Not a Bad Thing) For one thing, it's not necessarily a sign that you want them back. More at YourTango: Waking up from a dream about an ex can be jarring. I have been with my wife for about 5 years and have been married for about 1.5 years and we are expecting our first child in October. Last year I got married and my husband is wonderful. The weird thing is, I think of my ex-boyfriend quite often. He is everything a woman wants — that’s what my friend says — which doesn’t help me feel any better for We've been married for over a year now. Over the past couple of months, I've been thinking non-stop of my ex. My ex and I are both happily married, but the breakup was very tough and very emotional. But let's say you try heating things up, and reminding yourself that (a) your husband's great and (b) your ex was a tool just isn't working. My case is somewhat similar to yours. Make a list of what might turn a lukewarm connection with your hubby hot again—flirty texts, a weekend away. We have had our ups and downs like most couples but have been fighting more than normal for the past several months, … Generally speaking, though, exes are exes for a reason. You need to be honest with yourself. All of a sudden for the past month or so, I've been thinking about my ex girlfriend quite a bit. Frame it positively—not "You're driving me away one Sunday football game at a time," but "I've been thinking about things that could make us both happier." I'm getting married in October. But if meeting them for coffee to catch up only makes you feel a fraction of what you feel when see a facebook post, that’s a pretty sure sign that you aren’t in love with them (and maybe never were). Once my husband and I were on a 6 month break before we were married and by ex and I talked about getting back together. I've been married for approx. He's alive and well, tending bar in my hometown. My husband would die if he knew my feelings. We dated on and off throughout high school. So instead of sulking and grieving, I learned to displace that energy on my work and on taking care of myself. And after 15 years away from my ex, we reconnected and that brought back memories. Before my husband, I knew someone in Morocco for like 7 years and whenI came to this country everything changed and I thought I did not love my ex-boyfriend and I forgot the promise I made to him to always love him and get married one day. My husband and I have been married for a few months over a year now and the past few weeks I haven't been able to get my ex out of my head. To revisit this article, visit My Profile, then View saved stories. It's possible you married the wrong guy. © 2021 Condé Nast. We broke up about 6 years ago, and I started dating my now wife within a year after. But I am not at all happy with him. We’ve been friends for years and he’s everything I ever wanted and we get on great. We never really got over each other and that is affecting my marriage because my focus has shifted totally. All rights reserved. 6 years now, and still continue to think of my "ex." But the thing is that I am married. What you should do instead is think about why you married the guy you did and all the reasons you and the ex broke up. However, I keep thinking about my ex-boyfriend. We make a good team but don't really have passion. We broke up a little over 6 years ago, he is now married with kids. Should I tell my husband? It can be difficult to tell if you're really over someone. My ex and I met when we were very young. “Mark,” my husband, is a very patient, understanding, kindhearted guy. When your ex posts a photo on any social media, you’re probably going to feel all kinds of emotions. SELF may earn a portion of sales from products that are purchased through our site as part of our Affiliate Partnerships with retailers. To enable Verizon Media and our partners to process your personal data select 'I agree', or select 'Manage settings' for more information and to manage your choices. While I was thinking about my ex, I was on the other hand, forgetting all about my job and myself. I would never cheat, but I want to see him, talk to him, hugg him!! Are you still thinking about your Ex months, or even years after the relationship ended? Been married for over 3 yrs now, but till this day I can't stop thinking about my ex boyfriend. Divorce ends a marriage, but it usually doesn't end the feelings that former spouses have for each other. My suspicion is that you're dreaming of your ex to push aside feelings about the work that marriage requires (e.g., negotiations, compromises). —Married with Kids But, according to professional dream analyst and author Lauri Quinn Loewenberg, “Whatever’s going on in the dream is going to reflect not necessarily [what’s going on] between you and your ex, but what’s going on with you.”Read along as Loewenberg explains possible meanings behind various dreams about an ex, and how they might … I love my husband with all of my heart and I am honestly happy that I married him. I'm married (happily), but recently a photo of my first boyfriend flashed up on my Facebook newsfeed. My Profile, then View saved stories my marriage because my focus has shifted totally till this day ca! When we were seriously going in different directions and I think about messaging him all the health! 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